The previous lesson about Tabitha’s story on controlling the outcome when a mistake has already happened. In this lesson, Dr. Kashey talks about how she beat herself badly and went from whipping herself to getting reasonably irritated at herself. One can do some dumb things because they are overloaded with frustration tolerance or is more demanding to themselves since frustration tolerance went down. Dr. Kashey says this happens because more self-aware people punish themselves when they do dumb things and take responsibility. On the other hand, oblivious people tend to punish others when they do dumb things and take less responsibility because others must be able to fix it; therefore, they demand that they fix it. In the lesson, Dr. Kashey shares what smart people do when they experience problems. He also talks about the solutions to these problems and how perfectionism and procrastination tend to criple one from doing anything except waiting until the urge to do something is very high due to pressure. We also learn why intelligent people are exhausted, especially with themselves, and the solutions that TKN presents to such issues. In this episode, we learn that although our upbringing makes us believe that it was a requirement as a child to survive, and we often carry it as an adult, with the help of TKN, we learn how to use our brain to construct a rational and constructive priority instead of impulsive and destructive punishments.
In this lesson, Dr. Kashe talks about training symptoms that help you address the cause of a problem, and concerning this, he talks about a coach who complains that one of the clients in the gym keeps on yawning during exercise. Dr. Kashey also presumes that the cause of this trait maybe be attributed to the person’s hectic work schedule. He argues that if it is the issue of crazy work schedules, it is easy for her to fix that, and yawning during training fixes itself. Dr.Kashey, in this lesson, explains that getting to the root of a problem is sometimes important, but it is often overrated, and with a tiny bit of critical thinking, thinking critically can be a solution to an underlying problem and how TKN’s SRO model solves this. Listen to discover how such problems can be resolved!
Today on Coffee With Kashey is a review for all the new people of the SRO model, which explains a lot of our bad cycles. The model starts with the Stimulus (what upsets you) and Response (what you do about the Stimulus) before arriving at the Outcome (what happens after you Respond to the Stimulus) all of which are influenced by our underlying beliefs. Dr. Kashey’s solution is twofold. First, coach yourself or get coached through good experiences! Run experiments and collect true data so you can think and act in direct conflict with your problems in rational and constructive ways, actively changing what you believe by disputing your rigid beliefs, thinking backward and questioning your self-sabotaging thoughts. Second, a positive outlook changes how you view the results and what you do next! You’ll gain resilience after negative results, find gratitude from positive results, decrease frustration in your life and stop bad cycles.
In this podcast, Dr. Kashey talks about stimulus and response, stating that in the space between stimulus and response lies a circular interaction between thoughts, feelings, and urges that trigger you to respond. The distance between the stimulus and response can be reduced if the thinking problems and rigid beliefs are replaced with rational beliefs. To show how humans respond to provocation, he shares four categorical outcomes of the Pesky Space model: gratefulness, demand, resilience, and dissatisfaction, all based on results and outlooks with rational and irrational thinking. He further states that if you want to eliminate all that self-sabotaging garbage, you must think and act purposefully and aggressively in conflict with those things, literally think and act against them over and over and over aggressively, violently, stubbornly persistently.
Dr. Kashey describes how the space between Stimulus and Response consists of what you Think, Feel and Decide to do, which all connect in a circular way. A Stimulus bigger than your tolerance for frustration means your Thoughts about the Stimulus will become distorted, and you will Feel negative and make impulsive Decisions, all leading to self-sabotaging Responses. This system is fed by things blocking you from what you want and your own beliefs. Behavioral scientists have shown the best way to change a rigidly reinforced belief is by forcing yourself to repeatedly act otherwise. The client used a full day of fasting to test whether any actual dire consequences occurred if she felt the urge to eat and purposefully did nothing, and so her distorted belief hypothesis was found to be untrue!
In previous episodes Dr. Kashey talked about the 3 different external interaction systems: the environment, the social system and the human system. Today, Dr Kashey focuses on the 3 internal systems: your beliefs, your decisions, and your urges. Dr. Kashey explains how these internal systems interact with one another, and how they contribute to influencing what you do. This is important because what you do ultimately affects whether, and how, you either solve your problems, or make them worse when you are feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or discouraged. Most people and programs tend to focus on understanding where problems originated from. Dr. Kashey believes that a better solution is to gain an understanding of what makes the same problems arise again and again, because gaining an understanding of the central mechanism that maintains the problems is the first step to taking concrete actionable steps to resolve them so that you can achieve your goals.
Can you get it all by changing your thinking? TKN proposes precisely that – and works to get around your #BIGBRAIN interfering with disrupting your mission to get it all done. With TKN’s SRO model, you can sharpen your mind and chisel your body at the same time. How? Listen to discover how the SRO model helps with your thinking, solves those practical problems, and gets you to the action to get your desired outcome simultaneously.
In today’s Coffee With Kashey episode, Dr. Trevor Kashey has a real-life client case study that shows how the ADAPT framework works. The client was pre-diabetic and had issues with her blood pressure and blood sugar. But because biology operates on a continuum of self-correcting feedback loops, within 3 months of starting to ADAPT her bloodwork was back in healthy ranges and she lost 23 pounds! Dr. Kashey reviews the ADAPT framework, noting that clients are fine to combine steps because the system is written like so for learning purposes but does flow together.
You’ve explored thinking problems in the previous two episodes and now you’re ready to tackle a practical problem hindering progress towards your goal. In this episode, Dr. Kashey explains how the ADAPT problem-solving framework, developed by famed cognitive scientist Dr. Nezu, will give you a “plug and play” solution to most of your practical problems or goal-blockers. It’s one more tool in the box to remove roadblocks and continue progressing towards your goals even when the road gets a little wonky (and we know it will get a little wonky). So put on your thinking caps and nerd glasses and take a closer look at solving your practical problems.
When life is stressful, we think we need to wait until things calm down, causing us to do nothing and procrastinate forever until life is “perfect” again. This mental roadblock becomes our pass to do nothing about all those problems causing the stress. People who feel overwhelmed and stressed tell themselves they’ve lost control, so they even give up control over everything causing them stress. In many cases, we even give up on doing things that lower stress! In today’s Coffee With Kashey episode, Dr. Trevor Kashey encourages us to look back at previous times of stress. Think about how you used your mental and physical energy, or how you wasted it. Were the things you did to feel better effective? When stress reaches a certain point, you need to pause and bring back logic and reason into your responses for a positive and constructive outcome!