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Mindset

refused

Ep# 82: She Refused To Do This To Herself Anymore

Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Ep# 82: She Refused To Do This To Herself Anymore
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey discusses the difference between doing things not to die and doing things to live genuinely and fully. Kashey shares the story of Linda, one of his clients who struggled significantly with her negative thoughts. When she became a client, she started working on the SRO model. The S stands for “stimulus,” or the things that happen TO you and what YOU make happen. For the things that happen to you, these will be the big physical things that impact what your body does. Sometimes, this may be an occurrence in your body. In other cases, these may be drug-related. Either way, your brain bypasses the understanding stage entirely. For the stuff you make happen, these are the responses you incur by responding to the stimuli around you. For Linda, all she needed to pay attention to and work on was the stimulus part of SRO.

Adult

Ep# 81: Adult Toddlers

Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Ep# 81: Adult Toddlers
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Dr. Kashey continues his discussion of fault and blame in a practical light. He explains his belief that the far left and the far right are both partly correct but fully stupid – the far left being someone who relinquishes all responsibility for anyone’s fortune or misfortune, and the far right being someone who forces too much responsibility and who assumes complete control. Even if an ugly decision or silly mistake was made, it is not beneficial to chronically think and act like a victim. We have the freedom to choose what direction to take, no matter who is at blame for a certain outcome. Although we cannot have total control over crafting our outcomes, we do have a play in creating our own luck, and Dr. Kashey is here to reveal how.

Fault

Ep# 80: It’s Not Your Fault

Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Ep# 80: It's Not Your Fault
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Thanks to a previous episode with Dr. Kashey when we learned how to apply helpful negativity, Dr. Kashey now gives a deeper look into the response aspect of the stimulus-response model. We do not have control over everything, but we do have control over our response. Applying helpful negativity helps us efficiently control our emotions, thoughts, and actions rather than being the victim of them. Keeping this in mind in the midst of responding to a problem, we are able to thrive under any condition. Practicing self-respect will keep ourselves from being chronically victimized. Dr. Kashey again reminds us of the benefits of rational, constructive, and flexible scientific-mindedness.

Negativity

Ep# 79: When Does Negativity = Good!?

Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Ep# 79: When Does Negativity = Good!?
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Dr. Kashey offers insight into self-sabotaging eating behaviors. He shares the first step to resolving it, how to discriminate between helpful and harmful negativity, and how to use negativity in a rational and constructive way. Becoming aware of your self-sabotaging behaviors involves understanding the influence of three modifiable internal factors and two modifiable external factors, which Dr. Kashey will reveal in this episode. With a focus on how negativity impacts self-sabotage, we will learn how to put a positive spin on negativity so we can use it to help us rather than harm us.

check

Ep# 78: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Ep# 78: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
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Resuming his mini series about scientific thinking, Dr. Kashey now digs into the characteristics of scientific-mindedness and how to use it to “check yourself before you wreck yourself.” Traits of scientific thinking include observing observations, organizing and modifying the facts of your life, and proving some ideas and opinions to be false. It even gets into skepticism of more abstract concepts such as the universe being in charge of good and bad. Thinking scientifically does not come to a halt once it approaches abstract concepts, and Dr. Kashey explains how to apply scientific mindedness to abstract belief systems. This will empower us to handle our thoughts and actions in a constructive and rational manner.

Perfectionism

Ep# 77: Perfectionism Makes You Fatter

Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Ep# 77: Perfectionism Makes You Fatter
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While negativity can be destructive, it can also be relatively constructive even for a self-deprecating pessimist, Dr. Kashey says. There is a difference between preferences and demands; the former creates helpful pressure, the latter creates harmful pressure. Demanding too much of yourself can lead to anxiety and depression, which will in turn push you farther from your goals. It will wear down your feeling of self-worth. Following your preferences is a constructive way to practice scientific-mindedness and create a successful path to progress. We are not meant to expect perfection of ourselves. Dr. Kashey teaches us how to put those unrealistic, dogmatic demands to rest, and instead adopt helpful preferences that will lead us to overcome the hurdle of perfectionism.

Sabotage

Ep# 76: 4 Reasons You Self- Sabotage

Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Ep# 76: 4 Reasons You Self- Sabotage
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Dr. Kashey puts on his scientific minded thinking cap and answers the age-old question of “How does what you believe influence the way you process your thoughts, thereby dictating how you act?” He compares rigid versus flexible beliefs, scientific versus dogmatic, rational versus impulsive, and constructive versus destructive outcomes. In order to overcome adversity, solve problems, and reach goals, a person must make observations between what they’re doing and what they want. Together with Dr. Kashey, we will observe the three self-sabotaging beliefs that are hiding right underneath our noses and learn how to handle them. It can be frustrating, but that is a part of finding the solution.

science

Ep# 75: Do You Have Science-Mindedness?

Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Ep# 75: Do You Have Science-Mindedness?
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After a quick review of a dogmatic system versus a scientific system, Dr. Kashey shows how scientific thinking has a rightful and helpful place in our daily lives. It has an impact in the real world and can aid us in comprehending contradictions in the context of self-respect. Although scientific thinking hinges on facts and logic, this does not equate it to being rigid. Since facts are constantly being revised, science is relatively flexible. This leaves room for belief systems to dictate a person’s values and actions. Dr. Kashey shares six intuitive principles we can use to practically apply scientific-mindedness, followed by a 3 step process to integrate it into our lives. There is a way to rationally and constructively reach our goals and overall improve our lives while thinking scientifically and holding onto what we believe.

dogma

Ep# 74: Science Vs Dogma

Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Ep# 74: Science Vs Dogma
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At the start of a mini-series covering the comparison of thinking dogmatically versus thinking scientifically, Dr. Kashey gives us a good overview of the differences between the two, as well as how they can impact our emotions. Dogmatic thinking has a relatively arbitrary and rigid nature. On the other hand, scientific thinking is thorough, accurate, and allows for flexible outcomes. Factors such as the aspect of life being analyzed, and the emotional state of a person can determine if they are more dogmatically-minded or scientifically-minded. There is a place for both thinking styles, as Dr. Kashey explains further in the episode. An example of someone contemplating their health and fitness goals with dogmatic thinking would sound like “I HAVE to be sexy, strong, and in perfect shape.” They would set hard expectations for themselves. Whereas someone considering their health and fitness goals with a scientific mindset would understand that it’s not the end of the world if they miss their mark and they would continue to lead a purposeful life.

problems

Ep# 73: Fix For When Your Search for Answers Cause More Problems

Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Coffee With Dr. Kashey
Ep# 73: Fix For When Your Search for Answers Cause More Problems
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Sometimes our search for answers can reveal more problems instead of answers. Dr. Kashey teaches us how to stop this problematic spiral and redirect our focus so that we can find answers. While finding the root of the problem seems to be widely accepted advice, Dr. Kashey argues that digging into the past may actually hinder us from facing the problem in the present in addition to giving an excuse for procrastination. Touching on a previous episode with Dr. Kashey, self-esteem could be another obstacle to solving problems. If too much is expected of ourselves, i.e. if we expect perfection, then it can be tempting to believe that the outcome or reason for a problem defines an individual’s self-worth. This is an unfair concept to put upon yourself and others. There is hope in the world of problem-solving, and Dr. Kashey is excited to fuel your cognitive-grinder and create systematic, rational, and constructive solutions.