Are you struggling with productivity? Unable to focus? Have you been trying to solve the problem with block schedules and task lists? Dr. Trevor Kashey details the error in this thinking and delves into the reasons behind our attention deficit and underperformance. Join him as he helps you disrupt the loop of stimulation and boredom and allocate your attention.
Dr. Kashey believes that mentorship is the most collaborative platonic relationship you will ever have. A mentor doesn’t only teach you what to think, but also how to think and why you are thinking it. Studies show that when the mentor/protege relationship clicks, the protege has 200% to 400% greater levels of achievement. Through modeling, collaborating, and providing consistent feedback, a mentor plays a very important role in an individual’s life. While they are an experienced veteran in the field, they still maintain a close personal relationship with their protege and use everything they’ve learned to develop their protege as a person. The combination of knowledge via books and knowledge from experience creates something special that can be passed on.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Dr. Kashey closely scrutinizes this phrase and observes how it affects people. The damaging, perfectionistic standards that this romanticized saying sets can lead to someone feeling guilt and shame. While challenging experiences do strengthen our resilience response, it wouldn’t make sense to invite pain, inconvenience, and other unnecessary challenges into our lives just for the sake of getting “stronger.” Self-efficacy is strengthened by choosing to confront challenges rather than being forced to face challenges. The end result of tough experiences or events in our lives should lead to healthy recovery and a good attitude, not an endless depleted state of mind and body.
Dr. Kashey believes that acting assertively is essential for getting what you need while maintaining a synchronous relationship with your environment and the people in it. Feeling guilty or selfish for needing something and being worried about another person’s response once you get what you need are the major roadblocks to being assertive. Dr. Kashey addresses both of these roadblocks and shares a step-by-step process on how to turn your wishbone into a backbone. Self-respect, accepting mistakes, separating need and want, understanding that others think and feel differently, and sticking up for yourself are all things we can do to practice assertiveness. Dr. Kashey reminds us that it’s never necessary to feel “bad” for getting what you need.
Dr. Kashey understands that decision-making can be an intense endeavor. To make it easier on us, he shares the top three decision-making traps and how not to fall for them. There should be a balance between risk and reward when making a decision; Dr. Kashey will warn against the harm of leaning too far in either direction. Being afraid of making the wrong decision will inhibit a person’s ability to effectively weigh the pros and cons. Dr. Kashey believes that wrongness is crucial to learning and changing. In reality, the only way to be sure about a decision is to analyze it after it has been made. Self-respect should not be abandoned even if it turns out that the best decision was not made; a single decision does not define a person.
Dr. Kashey deconstructs resilience. Upon studying someone displaying resilience through a tough situation, you may wonder if they were born that way or if it is a learned skill. Good news for everyone – resilience can be taught, practiced, and therefore strengthened! Anything from everyday common inconveniences to real-world traumatic experiences will require a person’s resilience to make it through. Depending on the circumstances, the amount of resilience a person has can differ. While an individual can exhibit a lot of resilience in one area of life, that same person can also feel particularly weak and less than resilient in other areas of life. Dr. Kashey advises us to separate ourselves and others from thoughts, beliefs, and actions in order to objectively conquer our goals. He also provides a list of 10 things you can do today to build up your resilience.
How to graciously and constructively give and receive criticism… In this episode, Dr. Kashey will share the woes of being flattened by a bully versus the joy of being uplifted by a wise mentor. While both parties offer criticism, the way in which it is delivered determines how we feel and receive the criticism. Dr. Kashey has wisdom to share concerning how to control feelings when faced with criticism in order to decipher what is helpful and constructive versus what can be tossed to the side as nonsense. After all, every piece of criticism has a tinge of truth to it, even if only a tiny bit. Following Dr. Kashey’s “6 steps to fabulous feedback” is a sure way to effectively give and receive criticism.
Dr. Kashey speaks to desk jockeys or anyone else that has a typical 9-5 workday. Although it can seem like work takes up the entire day, Dr. Kashey proposes that there is still a whole other day’s worth of time after work. This time should be filled with meaningful hobbies and other skill-building activities that enrich your life. In turn, your job productivity and workplace satisfaction will increase. After a long day at work, spending time in front of a screen in the name of “relaxation” can be enticing, whether it be scrolling through social media, falling for various click-bait strategies, or watching TV. Dr. Kashey challenges us to instead fill that time with purposeful, passion-driven activities.
Procrastination: the 3-headed monster. Anxiety, boredom, and rebellion are the three main causes of procrastination, according to Dr. Kashey. He explains that there are many different types of “procrastinalities,” such as perfectionists, grand architects, worrywarts, contrarians, doormats, and others. Each procrastinality type has at least this one thing in common: they can find a way to justify putting off a task until tomorrow. But alas, tomorrow is always tomorrow. Dr. Kashey reminds us that we should treat ourselves better than constantly breaking promises to our future selves via procrastination.
In this episode, Dr. Kashey dives into time management – an area of life in which most people agree they can improve upon. Time management skills are essential for a successful diet and nutrition goals, and problems with time management require a specific approach to solving. Anxiety, boredom, and rebellion are revealed as the three main culprits of time management issues. Touching back on a previous episode, Dr. Kashey explains that time management issues are often masquerading as procrastination, and he reminds us to solve thinking problems with a cognitive solution.