When Getting Back on Track Feels Impossible

Discover the key to building self-efficacy

Posted By: TeamTKN

Fixes, Mindset

I am going to tell you a story, and you can tell me if it sounds familiar.

You’ve been in a groove with your nutrition plan for a while. You’re feeling incredible. You’re proud of your results. You trust yourself.

Staying on plan seems automatic.

Then you go to the dinner. Or the party. Or the vacation.

And you completely screw up.

And you come home.

And KEEP screwing up.

And you don’t understand why it’s suddenly so hard.

Staying on track had felt so simple.

But now, getting back on track feels impossible. Pointless.

Have you been there?

Are you there right now?

Why does getting back on track feel so overwhelming?

Because it is.

When you compile all of your effort and results that you accumulated over the course of weeks, or months or YEARS into a 5 second conversation, the weight of it all is paralyzing.

In this Coffee with Kashey video, Dr. Kashey shares a fabulous story of how he walked through this all too familiar scenario with one of his clients, a former strongman. (I strongly recommend that you give it a watch.)

In response to this particular client’s struggles, Dr. Kashey created the following system for getting back in a groove, that he has since used to help over 3,800 clients:

DR. KASHEY’S GROOVE SYNTHESIZER FOR ANGRY, RED-BLOODED, GUN TOTING, MEAT-EATING PEOPLE (AND OTHER PEOPLE TOO) (™)

Step 1: Stop & Think

Step 2: Write It Out

Step 3: Like What You Do

Let's Dive In

Step 1: STOP

Before sinking into a pit of despair and peanut butter, stop and think:

Think of another time where you goofed up, but it all worked out.
Did you make it through that experience? HINT: you must have. You’re here now.
What was the difference between that situation and this one? Was there a difference?

I’ll bet you a dollar there was a bigger difference in how you felt about your blunders than there was any massive difference in the blunders themselves. Actions feel differently when you’re in a different mood.

Step 2: Weigh It Out

Now that we’ve taken a moment to stop and think, ask yourself the following:

What does it feel like when you’re on a plan and in your groove
What does it feel like when you’re off plan and out of your groove?

Personally, when I’m on plan:

I feel like I can achieve anything.

I feel capable and strong.

I feel free.

When I wander off the path:

I feel lost.

I feel frustrated and purposeless.

I feel hopeless.

Write your own answers.

Which would you rather feel?

If you need help coming up with something, feel free to steal or personalize this: When I’m on track, I’m in control. Things are simpler, easier, and I feel better.

Step 3: Like What You Do

When you feel discouraged and useless, you take the path of least resistance, right

WEAPONIZE THIS

You have the opportunity to weaponize that “path of least resistance” style behavior.

How?

Do any part of your plan that was most interesting to you. Any part of it.

Give yourself a win.

The snowball will start growing again. It will. Giving yourself wins is the key to building self-efficacy: the belief that you can accomplish what you set out to do. With every win you build proof that you CAN do it. You’ve done it before. Once you’ve already proved that you have the skills and knowledge to get results, then belief is the only thing that’s missing.

So choose any part of your plan that is interesting and DO THAT. And like what you do. After three or four days, you’ll think, Oh now I remember what it feels like to be in a groove. I like feeling good.

We make mistakes all the time. Every day.

Some mistakes take you off plan, and you use them to give yourself permission to quit on yourself.

Sometimes mistakes take you off plan, but you’re okay with it.

You move on.

You still say “yes” to yourself.

The perceived struggle to get back on your plan is greater than the actual effort required to stay on your plan.

How do you start lifting weights? You lift.

How do you stay lifting weights? You lift

How do you start a nutrition plan? You eat.

How do you stay on a nutrition plan? You eat.

How do you start saving money? You put a quarter in a jar.

How do you stay saving money? You put a quarter in a jar.

If your next step is always the same, the hurdle is not what you have to do next. Your hurdle is the story you tell yourself.

Do you tell yourself a story that gives you permission to give up on yourself OR say “yes” to yourself?
Do you feel like you have control over the stories you tell yourself?
If you had control over the stories you told yourself, what would you say?

WRITE THIS DOWN

You WILL go off plan. It’s the way she goes.

When that happens, what will you do to remind yourself that you have the skills, knowledge and work ethic to recover and do good?

You DO have control over the stories you tell yourself.

You CAN influence the way you feel.

That means you can influence how easy it is to get back on plan when you goof.

This is powerful.

So what are you writing down? What are you telling yourself next time you get off track and recovery feels impossible?

What are you telling yourself next time you get off track and recovery feels impossible?

WHAT IS THE STORY YOU TELL YOURSELF?

Reinforcing the behaviors that keep you down and hurt you.
Do you tell yourself a story that gives you permission to give up on yourself OR say “yes” to yourself?
Do you feel like you have control over the stories you tell yourself?
If you had control over the stories you told yourself, what would you say?
You WILL go off plan. It’s the way she goes.

About Jacquelyn Laporte

Jacquelyn LaPorte has had the privilege of working with TKN since 2018. The journey has been a wild one, but it has ushered her into the driver’s seat of her own life. She learned how to ask questions, answer them honestly and act on the answers. She has used this process to become a better parent to her 3 kids, a better wife, a better boss, a better learner, a better human. She believes that no experience is wasted, (not even majoring in a dead language with no career plan😊 or starting a business with 0 entrepreneurial spirit). Each experience gives the gift of new eyes. Perfect choices are not required, and that makes her free to choose.

“There are a thousand thousand reasons to live this life, and every one of them sufficient.”

-Marilynne Robinson-